Agreement: Definition: two beings, agreeing to walk together equally, to support each other in self honesty, seeing that each is alone with who they are - agreeing to communicate unconditionally and reveal all, leaving nothing hidden - in which both beings push themselves and push each other to stand and take self responsibility to be self honest about who each really is

Reactions linked to it: hope, desire for future security, projections, fear of fucking up and losing the agreement, preservation, comparison, memories, desire, doubt, jealousy, possession

Ideas linked to it: security, support, relationship, intimacy, completeness, significance, aloneness, self, being together, enjoyment, connection


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relationships according to my idea of worth
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreements according to my idea of worth
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more 'worth' to cerise than to others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define cerise according to how she looks
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that because other people look different, they are separate
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and worth in people based on the way they look
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare people based on the way they look, and define the ones that I perceive to be attractive, as being worth more than the ones I perceive to be unattractive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming jealous if I were ever to go into an agreement
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the reason I would be jealous of someone is because I have defined them according to the worth I have assigned them, and I have bought and payed for them through successfully entering into a relationship with them, and therefore I possess them, and if I were to lose them to someone else - I would become jealous because I have define myself according to this worthy possession of mine

I fear to lose the agreement, because I believe that without being in an agreement or relationships - I am not able to experience myself with that person - I believe I am somehow isolated from that person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not in a relationship or agreement with cerise, I am isolated from her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my idea of isolation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to cerise
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my life according to the idea of 'being with another person forever'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this one life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to death
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreements as something through which I can secure myself in this life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define security as a relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define security according to this one life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place conditions on standing up, wherein I will only stand up if I can be with another in a relationship or agreement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do forgiveness from the starting point of hoping to start an agreement, instead of forgiving myself, as myself, because I do not choose to exist in dependence on another in order to support myself and stand up
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be security as myself here in seeing that, the only reason I fear to lose security, is because I have defined security to existing only within a relationship - therefore to lose a relationship or not be in one, would mean I am not secure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am alone with myself - I am less secure than when I am with someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define security as 'being with another person'
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that I am already secure, because I am here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I might exist in death
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to knowledge and information about the dimensions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to knowledge and information about agreements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self as me existing within my body, separate from another -and therefore to be with someone, I must be in a relationship, so that I can experience a connection to them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreements according to my idea of connection
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my idea of connection is not real - because all is here as myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my idea of connection
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreements according the idea of a 'significant other'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my idea of significance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define cerise according to my idea of significance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define cerise supporting me as 'cerise being with me' - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define support according to what I want
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire support within what I want
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I want
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place conditions on self support, wherein I will only want to fully support me, if I have what I want
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self honesty according to knowledge and information - instead of seeing that to be self honest is to see here who I really am, that to be self honest, is to be who I really am

another point that has become clear is the idea and feeling of happiness/togetherness

for my idea of happiness to exist, and for me to experience the togetherness of being with someone I want to be with - I must exist as sadness and loneliness

so in realizing this, the question comes up of : am I really willing to exist in sadness and loneliness? are the experiences which I get when I am with the person I want to be with, really worth pursuing, when I know that if I were to lose them I would be sad and lonely? or am I going to stand up for myself and say no more, till here no further - and actually be be self honest, actually see that I'm here and will be here with or without the person I want to be with, and that I am alone with what I feel, and that I actually exist as what I feel, and therefore actually forgive myself for ME HERE, so that I can stop being sad and lonely.
because what I have noticed in doing forgiveness on points regarding agreements, is that I have been doing it from the starting point of hope, hoping that once I get through enough forgiveness, that I will be able to be with that person I want to be with --- but in doing this, I am not actually forgiving myself, I am simply - through hope - allowing myself to continue existing in the polarity of happy/sad, together/lonely.
and also thus, from this starting point, any agreement that I am attempting to design, is dishonest - because I won't be participating for and as myself here unconditionally in seeing that it is not worth it to make myself suffer , but rather serving my idea of happiness - happiness which WILL be lost, because it isn't real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an agreement based on 'wanting to make a life with someone'

New agreement definition:
each being's responsibility to support all life to be self honest

Specific agreement definition:
2 (or more) beings agree to share themselves unconditionally and support each other in self honesty and in being self honest


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expression:
definitions: I express me here, as myself, in self honesty, not hiding who I really am, not suppressing myself in fear, here alone as all as one as myself, free from the desire to be or have something more, self directed in the moment -- without forming an idea of myself or defining myself based on what I express - expression not defined by or dependent on another being. not from the starting point of wanting validation, approval, acceptance from others - and not from the starting point of manipulating another to get something from them

reactions: comparison, judgment, fear of being dishonest, projections

ideas: success, acceptance, assistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak and express from the starting point of manipulating another
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define expression as a means to get what I want, instead of seeing that self expression is me here in the moment, being honest with myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my expression according to my idea of assisting and saving others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define assistance as 'saving others'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expression based on the reactions of others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my expression to that of others, and in this, assign my expression worth, based on how I have defined others' expression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define others according to what they do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I express, defines me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expression as 'good' and 'successful' and 'worthy', based on the words of others of approval and acceptance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expression as 'bad' and 'not worthy' based on the words of others of not liking or accepting my expression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on the criticism of others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my expression according to what others are doing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my expression according to personality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define expression as a means of securing success in this life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my expression according to 'becoming successful'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my expression on my projections of how what I express might affect others in the future, instead of directing myself here in the moment

New Definition:
directing self to share self unconditionally in self honesty as all as one in every here now moment


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sharing

definition: freely opening and expressing self as all that self is, in seeing that since all are myself, all is known and I can only hold on and hold back from myself.
sharing as self honesty

freely letting go of that of self that is in abundance - hmm, would this be: not only is all known, but all exists here as the abundance of self as self, one and equal, therefore value and possession is actually not possible except in self dishonesty and separation of self - and that one being is not more worthy of another to share self with, as all beings are actually myself, one and equal here - whoa there's the possession/relationship thing

reactions: jealousy, possession, worthiness, comparison, fear of loss, holding onto

ideas: judgment, ideas of people, worthiness, possession, specialness, ownership, vulnerability,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to possess that which I want, that which I define as mine, instead of realizing I can only want of myself, because all is myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I fear to lose the person who I want to possess as my own, because I have judged that person as having more worth than another, and therefore if I am not able to possess that person, then I will be left with others who I have judged to have less worth
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in doing this I am in separation of all around me, standing back, seeing them as separate beings, and comparing and judging them based on how I have defined them - and therefore I am in separation of myself, because all are myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that some beings are more worthy of sharing myself with, instead of realizing that all are one and equal as myself and therefore I am judging myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that one must be worthy of receiving my insight, instead of realizing that I am responsible to assist and support all life to be self honest, and that I am one with and equal to all life, and therefore I would be assisting and supporting myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self honesty implies that I share myself with all, one and equal as myself, and therefore to judge one as being more worthy than another is self dishonest
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe a being as 'mine', instead of realizing that ownership implies separation and therefore I am separating myself from myself, to be able to perceive a being as 'mine'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would be vulnerable if I were to share myself unconditionally instead of realizing that no one or nothing can really hurt me, only I am able to accept and allow feelings and emotions within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of vulnerability as 'able to be hurt' - instead of realizing that to be vulnerable is to realize that all are one and equal as myself, therefore there is nothing to defend myself against, and therefore the reactions and emotions and feelings I experience, are due to me separating myself from myself, in order to perceive and believe that another can hurt me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define vulnerability according to emotions and feelings
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in defining vulnerability according to emotions and feelings of hurt, I am in the polarity of 'safe / unsafe'
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that since I am here one and equal as all that exists, I cannot actually really be harmed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a miser because I fear to lose who I define myself to be, instead of realizing that my ideas and definitions of myself are not real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear another being telling me I am dishonest, instead of realizing that I am only able to fear another being if I perceive them to be separate from me
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the reason I fear to be shown my dishonesty, is because I fear to lose my ideas and definitions of myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my ideas and definitions of myself are self dishonest
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place conditions on self honesty, in order to preserve my ideas and definitions of myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place conditions on self honesty in order to preserve the value I have placed in what I want, so that I can chase after what I want
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that to place conditions on self honesty, is self dishonesty, and therefore I am forming an idea of self honesty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the people I know personally, are more worthy of sharing myself with than other people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define according to the people I know personally
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that all in existence are one and equal as myself here, therefore no one is able to be more than another - not even those whom I know personally and have relationships with
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I exist only within the bubble of my home/friends/family/people I know
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sharing only exists within the bubble of all that I participate with in my personal life
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to stand one and equal with all beings as myself, and see that in this, I am responsible for assisting and supporting all life as myself to be self honest

New definition:
allowing self to give self freely in self honesty to all as one as equal as the abundance of and as self here in every moment in self trust

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self trust

definition:
the living expression of self as absolute certainty of self honest, self- directed self support in and as self responsibility for and as all as one as equal, in every here now moment of breath

reactions: future projections, self doubt

ideas: uncertainty

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in allowing myself to have the thought of 'what if I fall' I am not here in self trust

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in projecting myself into situations in my mind, I am not here in self trust

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that fear is the expression of no self trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for reacting to thoughts, instead of realizing that in judging myself for reacting, I am not here in self trust, supporting myself

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that to be self honest - is to support myself in every moment to not allow self dishonesty, and is therefore self trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncertain of what self trust is - instead of realizing that in being uncertain of what self trust is, I am allowing myself to be self dishonest and I am therefore not here in self trust, supporting myself

because, how can self be self honest, if self does not trust self to be self honest? and how can self trust self, if self is not self honest?

therefore self trust is the living expression of self will for and as all as one as equal, as absolute certainty of self directed self support in self honesty in every here now moment of breath

New Definition: The certainty that I will honor my proven self honesty as all as one as equal in every here now moment



RESPONSIBILITY

definition:
commitment of self to supporting self to be self honest in every here now moment, in the realization that all that I am and experience is what I accept and allow

reactions:
comparison, self doubt - what if I fail at committing to myself?

ideas: failure, ability, purpose - (if my purpose is not clear, how can I take full responsibility)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on others to give me a purpose, before I take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as more than me, and therefore more able to take responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear committing myself to myself fully, because I doubt myself - what if I don't change?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define responsibility according to ability

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that since all that I am here is what I have accepted and allowed me to be, I am capable of supporting myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can actually fail myself, instead of realizing that no matter what, I am still here, and will always be able to stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need more, in order to take responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that responsibility is something which must be earned

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not taking responsibility for all as one as equal, using the excuse that it is too big, and too overwhelming to commit to - instead of realizing that in this I am separating myself from all as one as equal, so that I can continue living within my definitions and ideas of myself, which is self dishonest

New definition:
honouring the commitment to all life being one and equal in self honesty in every here now moment



self honesty

definition:
the application of self responsibility as seeing, realizing, directing, living all that one accepts and allows to exist within self as all as one as equal in every here now moment

reactions: desire, self doubt - how should I be directing myself? am I capable of directing me as all as one as equal?

ideas: self honesty, direction, purpose, awareness, self judgment

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that to desire to be self honest, is actually dishonest - because in this I am defining myself and self honesty according to an idea, which is not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self honesty as a state of being, which I must attain to

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self honesty is here in every moment, in and as me seeing and realizing and directing myself within and as all that I allow me to be here in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see self honesty as something separate from me, which I must move towards, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be self honest, instead of realizing that the self honesty I desire, is an idea, and is not real - as self honesty is here as myself in every moment, seeing, realizing and directing all that I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on someone giving me a purpose, to direct myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self direction is here in every moment, in me seeing, realizing, and directing all that I am and allow myself to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self honesty as 'greater awareness', and therefore something that I am not able to fully be and live here in every moment - I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in attempting to attain self honesty as 'greater awareness', I am not here, I am being dishonest, not seeing and realizing that self honesty is myself here in every moment, seeing, realizing and directing all that I am and allow

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being dishonest, instead of realizing that in judging myself I am being dishonest --- and that I am actually always able to immediately stand up and direct myself in self honesty, because I am always here in every moment of breath - therefore I can never really make a mistake

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the simplicity that I am here in every moment of breath- and in this I am constant and always able to direct myself in self honesty --- and I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in judging myself for being dishonest, I am allowing myself to be directed by my ideas and definitions - because I am only able to judge myself and limit myself through allowing myself to be influenced and directed by ideas and definitions, , which is self dishonest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to what my thoughts tell me

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to unconditionally realize that desire cannot actually exist, if I am here in every moment of breath --- and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being here as the breath as being not enough, - instead of realizing that myself as all as one as equal exists here in every moment of breath - therefore all desire, want and need is dishonest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not fully capable of directing myself as all as one as equal, and therefore I require another to direct me - instead of realizing that I am here as all as one as equal in every moment - therefore, in being here and seeing, realizing and directing all that I am in self honesty, I am actually directing myself as all as one as equal to be self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and influenced by my ideas and definitions, instead of directing myself here in the breath in every moment

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to accept me here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust me here in every moment of breath - I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that there is actually nothing else to trust but myself in self honesty here in every moment as all as one as equal - all else is separation

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize I am the only real directive principle as myself here in every moment of breath, and according to this, all that I am and experience is what I accept and allow and therefore I am responsible for myself as all as one as equal here in every moment of breath - all else is separation and dishonesty



communication

definition: self honest expression of self to another as self

reactions: self doubt - what if I don't trust myself when faced with the opportunity to speak directly and self honestly with another?, fear of consequences - what if I speak to another self dishonestly? fear of others' reactions, fear of alienating others

ideas: ideas and definitions of friends and family, care, support

something I've been looking at is the potential consequences of speaking directly to friends and family - because I've in the past used words spoken from ego and blame - and I find that now I fear what might happen if I speak directly to people. which means I don't trust myself to speak self honestly, and to direct others as myself where I see I can be of support. I've feared to be direct with people because I fear to 'burn bridges' - but there is also the fear of losing the support of those with whom I have established relationships of 'friendship and family' - but also within holding back, I then feel isolated from others - and feel that I am not honoring myself, not trusting myself to support others in speaking to them self honestly. But how can I establish effective relationships with people, how can I support them if I am not willing to speak directly and self honestly with them without fear of loss? I still fear how others might react to what I say, fear to lose or change how I believe others see me. which means I still want myself to exist as an idea in other people's minds - and still define myself according to the idea others have of me. And I still fear to hurt people's feelings - even though I realize that people's feelings and emotions are not who they really are - and therefore to cater to their feelings, to be 'nice' , I am supporting their definition of themselves of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as mean and 'uncaring'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define supporting others as 'caring for their feelings'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the support and care of friends and family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in communicating to others directly and self honestly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how others might react, even before I speak to them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the idea others have about me

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to let go of my idea of how others see me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back instead of speaking self honestly in the moment

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I speak to another being, I am speaking to myself - therefore to speak with others in self honesty, is to support others as myself in self honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing where I am self dishonest in speaking to others, and therefore hold back instead of trusting me in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define support as being 'caring'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself instead participating with others self honestly - which is actually me participating with myself, supporting others as me to be self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret being dishonest in the past, instead of letting go of the past and just speaking self honestly here in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of what I say to others, instead of trusting myself to direct me in self honesty, no matter what happens

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take risks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear unpredictability

New Definition: beings expressing themselves with one another in self honesty as all as one as equal



vulnerability

definition: allowing self to share self unconditionally in self honesty in every here now moment as all as one

reactions: self judgment, fear of change, inferiority, wanting to be 'on top' of the situation

ideas: personality, weakness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of inferior/superior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself define my experience of myself according to personality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a personality is who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in my 'established personality', so I can avoid confrontation and conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to hide in personality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not share myself unconditionally in the fear of what others might think of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sharing according to 'what do I have available to share?', instead of trusting myself to share myself in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define strength according to others perceiving me as strong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define vulnerability as powerlessness

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in sharing myself with others, I am sharing myself with myself - therefore my experience of powerlessness is not real, but an experience which I allow to exist in and as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak to others from the starting point of wanting to maintain 'their' image of me, instead of realizing that I am actually fearing to lose my own image of myself, within myself, and so I am maintaining my image of myself, for myself, in my own fear --- projecting my self image into the eyes of others, believing that if their image of me were to change, I would be vulnerable as defined by weakness, nakedness, exposure - instead of realizing that this entire experience is actually all happening within me, as an accepted and allowed experience - therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my image of myself, is how others see me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within myself behind my image of myself, in the fear of being 'vulnerable' as defined by my self definition and image being compromised by another -- when I can only compromise myself, by allowing myself to define myself - because as long as I define myself, any change to my self definition as image 'in the eyes of others' can be taken as 'damage' - I cannot be damaged, because I am all as one - therefore, vulnerability as defined by damage/hurt/loss/compromise only exists as an idea in separation of myself, so, in allowing myself to let go of myself, and share me unconditionally with others as myself as all as one as equal, I fill me with myself - fullnerability - and I share me with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself through the eyes of others - instead of realizing that I am only seeing myself through the eyes of my own self judgment, in separation of myself as all as one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an image and idea in other people's minds

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an image in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my image of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as 'not ready to share', instead of realizing that in doing this I am hiding from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I have my individual experience of myself, I am separate from all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that myself as all as one as equal, exists as an experience, and therefore if I am not having my idea of an experience of myself as all as one as equal, then I am less than all as one as equal

I am just here, with my experience of myself, and my experience is determined, one and equal, by what I accept and allow



Living

Definition: the application of self honesty as unconditional self expression as all as one as equal in every here now moment

(beingness as awareness directed in self honest expression as all as one as equal = becoming)

Reactions: fear of vulnerability

Ideas: definitions/ideas of myself/others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my ideas and definitions of others

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in limiting my expression based on possibilities of how others might react according to my ideas/definitions of them, I am actually fearing myself - because my ideas and definitions of others exist in me, as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have ideas about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design my expression around how others react to me, and based on how they react, judge my expression as being right or wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of right and wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my ideas and definitions of people, are who they are - instead of realizing and seeing that all that I think and experience - takes place within me and is therefore me, and so in fearing how others might react to my expression, I am actually fearing that they will change and no longer fit my ideas and definitions of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to split myself within myself, so that I can perceive others as separate from me - so I can have an idea and definition of them based on my perceptions

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can be here and express myself with others without having ideas and definitions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must 'prepare' myself before I express myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define preparation as 'me not being capable or ready yet' and therefore I must wait until I am 'ready'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the idea of 'here' and 'there'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that all of my fears are based on self judgment, ideas and definitions, and are therefore not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I exist in pieces, and that I am moving through time on a path of putting myself together again - and within this belief, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me here in the moment, as not being complete and one with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not capable of living unconditionally here in every moment, because I am not 'ready' yet - because I have judged others as more than me, and judged myself as less, and therefore I am incomplete, and must work towards attaining the completion of myself - instead of realizing that I am already here, and that the completeness of me is here in every moment, self expression is here in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of less and more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of worthlessness and value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of incomplete and complete



Enjoyment

Definition: The pleasure of self, as an expression of the completeness and sufficiency of self as all as one as equal, in self honest self presence

Reactions: regret - (I should have experienced that while I had the chance), hope - (I hope I get the chance to experience that)

Ideas: experiences, value, memories, hope, loss, desire, the past, the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my desires are real

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in order to experience the gratification of desire, I must also experience loss, in order to exist within and as desire

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define enjoyment according to my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self expression according to my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my idea of enjoyment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not complete

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to let go of my desires, in realizing that what I desire is not real and will not last, and that I am already here as all as one as equal in completeness in every moment, therefore I am not actually able to lack anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of win and lose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my memories

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define enjoyment according to memories of experiences

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to let go of hope

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to hope

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the past, instead of allowing myself to live here in the moment of breath as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in hoping for the future and regretting the past, I am not allowing myself to be here and enjoy me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define enjoyment according to routine and predictability, therefore when my routine is lost or my situation becomes unpredictable, I experience loss, and try to maintain and hold onto what I had in the past, instead of being present in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on being with others to enjoy myself - instead of realizing that in that, I am not enjoying myself, but enjoying the experience of gratification of my desire for completeness as defined by my idea of me existing separate from others