Self Forgiveness - thoughts in relation to making music

Some thoughts and experiences I have been facing in relation to making music, that I used smoking to suppress and not deal with


'I must 'be the best' and 'achieve perfection'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I must be the best

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to think that I must 'achieve perfection'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must make 'perfect music'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define making music according to an idea of 'perfection'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define making music as a process within which I must 'achieve' something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be the best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must make the best music

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my music to be the best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an experience of having achieved perfection in relation to making music

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to have an experience of being the best when I make a song, and within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I make music but do not have an experience of 'being the best', then judge myself as failing myself and become discouraged with myself. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my experience of discouragement, to believe that it is actually indicating and telling me that I have failed myself, instead of realizing and seeing that I create the entire emotional experience through my own accepted ideas and definition and beliefs of and about myself in relation to music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as an idea of perfection, and to within this, expect myself to live up to
and meet my idea of perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts and ideas that arise in my mind of me being the 'best' - where I will then judge what I am doing, judge the music I am making through the eyes of these thoughts and ideas, instead of expressing myself here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was young - when my parents would tell me I am good, and that I am talented, and that I am gifted, judge myself to be more than the rest, and create a standard within myself that I must be the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define perfection as 'being better than the rest'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, and desire for my music to be 'better than the rest.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, and desire for myself to be 'better than the rest.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'gifted'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'gifted' as - being bestowed with more value than another, as being better than another, as being more than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have been bestowed with more value than another being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am more than another being - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my music needs to be more than, and better than the music of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was young - allow myself to believe that what and who and how my parents tell me I am - is in fact what I am, who I am, and how I am - instead of realizing that these are only definitions of myself that I accept and then experience myself as and participate in my world as - and that these definitions are not who I really am, how I really am, what I really am.


If I can't make it perfect, what's the use?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thinking that if I can't make something 'perfect' then 'what's the use'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this thought through having accepted and allowed myself to have ideas and definitions of myself being required to achieve perfection, according to a projected idea of perfection I have accepted and allowed myself to have and participate in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self defeat when I've experienced that I did not live up to my standard of perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use smoking as an energetic veil to hide within when I would experience the thought of 'what's the use' - instead of from the very beginning when I first had the thought, stand here in and as breath as me - and assist and support myself within self honesty to investigate the thought and stop it with self forgiveness and self corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought of 'what's the use'? as a statement of futility towards something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'futile' to make music if I cannot experience myself as 'having achieved perfection' each time I make music. lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I am making music, expect myself to have a feeling of being satisfied that what I am making is 'perfect'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the experience of futility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my existence is futile - instead of realizing this is merely a deliberate statement of not allowing myself to live as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to live as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use smoking as a veil to hide from my experience of futility and 'what's the use'


I must have total freedom at all times to do whatever I want in relation to making music
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of 'total freedom' defined by having whatever I need available at my fingertips at all times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define making music as something I am only able to do if my idea of 'total freedom' is being met by my environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I 'can't make music' unless I have 'total freedom' as defined by my environment providing me with everything that I could possibly need

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have and participate in the thought of 'I must have total freedom at all times to do whatever I want' or else I am not able to make music, and it is not worth making music

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my idea of 'total freedom' as a standard that must be met by my environment for me to then be able to make music

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make 'making music' into a 'big deal' for myself

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to simply work fully with is in my hands that is available, and to take the practical steps to making money to then be able to afford other things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the money system for my experience of limitation and frustration within making music - instead of realizing and acknowledging that I have not in fact been allowing myself to live fully within what is here available - thus seeing that the money system is not to 'blame' and cannot be 'blamed' for my experience - because I am the one that created my idea of freedom that I then placed as the standard which I want and expect my environment as the world to provide for me - instead of realizing the simple facts of how the system exists, and realizing that the system cannot be blamed, and it is not practical to 'expect something' from the system, and thus, to support myself would be to live fully within what I have available, and take the necessary steps required to make money and buy the things that I I require in order to place my expression more effectively


I could do better, I could make better music'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have and participate in the thought of 'I could do better'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have and participate in the thought of 'I could make better music'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how unnecessary it is to have thoughts about what I am doing -- because I see that I can always see directly what I am doing, what requires attention, what could be done more effectively, etc -- because I am participating physically. Thus having thoughts about what I am doing physically is stupid and useless. Especially when I allow my thoughts to ratify my actual physical action and expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the music I make as 'not good enough', and then become discouraged and 'feel bad' about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in my thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expression as being 'not good enough' - instead of realizing that expression is not about 'good and bad' - it is about me - it is me expressing - simple. And I am here in a reality, in which I use certain objects and tools to facilitate the placement of my expression in this reality. Thought is not necessary within this - my thoughts are not Here as this physical reality that I am working with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as inferior musicians

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the superior musician I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define music within and as the polarity of 'superior and inferior' - and to within this, want and desire to be the superior musician

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that the degree of effectiveness and specificity of music people make has nothing to do with the person being 'superior' or 'inferior' -- because the expression that is placed merely reflects who the person is and how they have physically directed themselves within making the music - thus the polarity judgment is irrelevant - the comparison is irrelevant - because self expression is about Self, Me, Here - Who I Am.