self Forgiveness Jan. 27 2009 - fear of not having money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not save enough money in time for my departure to south africa

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define security as having money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self expression is something only possible with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to fear not having money in order to motivate myself to make money - instead of realizing that this is me defining money in separation from me, with me in relationship towards money

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that making money is simply a matter of me directing me - and does not require me to fear lack of money in order to for me to make money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as the idea of survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and within the idea and belief that having more money means I have more time - and therefore to have more money is to have more time in which to live and express myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living as that which can only be done in the amount of time which must be earned through making money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough time to express myself - instead of realizing that self expression is not defined by an idea of time - it does not exist in time - self expression is here as me in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life exists in moments of time which are earned through making money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the idea of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough time

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that living does not exist in time - living is me here in every moment of breath, directing and expressing me in self honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of 'there isn't enough time' as a justification to not direct myself in every moment - accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by my idea of there 'not being enough time'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the money system, instead of realizing that the money system exists within and as me, as a manifestation of what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as - therefore to be angry at the money system is to be angry at me, and projecting anger is not an acceptable or effective way of directing what is here as myself because it implies that I see the money system as separate from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the idea that 'personal freedom' can be bought by earning money and purchasing amounts of time in which to be 'free to live my life'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that personal freedom exists - as defined by an experience of being 'free to live and express myself' without having to consider anything but my personal experience - which is attained through money - instead of realizing that such 'personal freedom' is not real, because such an experience only exists if I see money as separate from me, if I see the world as separate from me, if I see others as separate from me - because then I am 'free' to exist in self interest, considering only my experience - and that the pursuit of 'personal freedom' is actually me confirming to me that I am enslaved to systems which I have not stood one and equal with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to money, seeing money as a powerful force which controls me, instead of realizing that money is a manifestation of me